Feeling the touch of the cool winter blasts my face this morning, my computer came out to play. I scanned all my favorite clothing sites for fall and winter clothes. It's tough because every year since my divorce and my kids have been growing up I feel like a new person living a new life each year. Mom clothes...out , racey club wear... out, fat jeans...definitly out. Some people call it mid life syndrome or empty nest syndrome but I feel it's a new chance syndrome. You can take a step in to the unknown or the untried. A place that you thought was off limits but always wanted to try or a style you wanted to claim as your own.
A lot of people have little clue how to start the change. Yes, it's so easy to fall victim into a routine. Clothes that are easy and comfortable is what is thrown on and head out the door. But, you can do both. Stand in your closet and look at those items you have not worn in two seasons, that needs to go to goodwill. Then look for clothes you bought on a whim and toss them in the to go bag. Now, you have a palate to start. Place several of your favorite outfits or item of clothes together and take a picture of it all. Where to go from there? Call one of your friends you really admire because they just always seem to know how to own their style. Hire a proffessional shopper or take the pictures to your favorite clothing store.
I have been a personal shopper for years. We look at your lifestyle, your body type, color scale, hair and even your job. A personal shopper will use all that to add a few classic pieces that can change one outfit into a weeks worth. Some people are scared of the thought of having a stranger jump in their closet and change things around. You hire a painter to paint, a mechanic to fix your car or a trainer to get you fit. You don't have to use one but by hiring one for a day can pay off in the end.
Another option is to go to your favorite store. This would be somewhere that the sales clerk is knowlegable and not just working a part time job. Show them your pictures and tell them the look you are trying to aquire. Most likely they can pull several pieces for you to take home to mix and match. Let one of your friends come over and give you feed back.
Do not get discourage if your pocket book is tight. There are so many stores and sites that are available that anything is possible, It might just be changing your hair up with one outfit, mixing and matching styles of make up. Accessories are so under played that the right ones can change your entire closet.
If you go on a rage shopping trip with your firends or a little crazy ordering, give yourself 24 hours before clipping those lables. Make sure that this is a pick you will be happy with this season and not something hanging in your closet collecting dust. I always suggest a classic pump, a unique chic heel , a nice purse is a must. My mom always told me a southern lady always has a nice pair of heels and a beautiful purse. A lesson I have kept close and shared.
A stylish fitted leather jacket and then a hip fur jacket or satin bomber jacket. Turtleck and a dangling earrings and a statement necklace is a must. Hair extensions are now considered part of any woman's wardrobe. Black leggings or pleather pants and a over sized turtle neck. A classic staight line skirt and a funky hip skirt. These items will be what I would recommend to any of my friends. Theses are specific items so they need to be picked out carefully. All clothes are a investment into your life. They can make you feel beautiful or drain you, so let them make you happy.
It doesn't matter what the magazines say or print. Find your style and endulge. Pick the clothes that represent who you are and how you want the world to see you but with a new added twist. Pick one item that you would never have tried before and team it up with one of your favorite items. You will discover a new you and a feeling of empowerment. Remember you are wearing the clothes they should never wear you
I fell into the the pit of fashion judgment this weekend. I felt like a gladiator waiting for the next eye roll or those radar stares that can beam staight to your spine almost snapping it leaving you in a puddle of humiliation. I have not felt that feeling since grammer school and swore to myself that I would free the rest of you gladiators from believing you are a victim of rules and regulations set forth by designers you will never meet nor probably know their names.
I consider myself somewhat of a expert when it comes to fashion. My family had a huge department store and I spent every weekend and summer trying on every article that was shipped in for each new season. The summers I loved my trips to New York as a buyer. Viewing the upcoming seasons clothes and fashion thrilled me and gave me such a purpose. After the store was sold, I found my outlet for clothes through modeling.
Ashamed to say that at one time I was one of the elitist, wondering why in the world would someone choose "that" to wear out or even purchase. Life quickly taught me a lesson. My daughter would have nothing of anything I chose for her to wear and I bit my lip till it bled watching others look at what she had chosen to wear to school that day. Now that I was on the other side of the fence, I knew why the sweat pants and torn t-shirt was chosen. I understood that her interest was of deeper meaning of things than what jeans were in style. Her courage to be herself gave me the strength to forge ahead in my own fashion choices or chances.
For living in a small affluent old southern town comes with it many stereo types, some which you are probably thinking right now. But, I never seem to step in the fashion pool with all the others after my daughter explained, "there is more to me than what I wear". Yes, there is more to everyone than the attire they chose for that day. There are reasons they chose what to slip on that day, some good, some bad, some we would understand and others we could never imagine. So who is the fashion police? Are they in my closet, in my budget for food vs clothes or know the story that some are wearing hand me downs because it is all they can afford or for the mere fact it is a sentimental article for them.
What makes me happy is to wear something I feel strong and confident in and yes people mostly it is black. I do throw in touches of color but why should I change what makes me feel good to make others grace me with their approval. Yes, there are some people that want to look smashing but have no clue where or how to do it. Some have lost weight or had babies and just have no clue where to start to shop for their new life. I love to help people like that who are ready to shed their old skin and find a new one waiting to embrace them. Teaching tricks of the trade with earrings, hair or make up or maybe a twisted scarf or a bright handbag can make all the difference.
But I look up to those that wear their clothes, be it in style or out, with confidence and their shoulder's back. I know we have all struggled at times to find that kind of confidence. Me seeing my daughter shuffle through a highschool where each girl wore hundred dollar jeans and she in sweat pants because she simply felt comfortable in that and was totally focused on her writings.
As I marched through a Country Club with a date on Friday, I was so late and had no time to change after work. Believe me this was no Country Club outfit but it was a oufit of a woman working and promoting a radio show. My excuse fell on deaf ears and I took a breath and realized that in all truths my outfit was probably more in style than those staring at me in dismay. It was just not meant for that place at that time.
So before you fashion police someone and giggle with the thought of how could they maybe your thought should be why did they and who I am I to judge. Some of us love fashion and beauty, I know I do, but others are devoted to saving the rain forest. Life is about choices everyone makes a mistake and everyone makes good ones. My belief is that there are no victims of fashion only people that choose to victimize.
October for me has been a crazy roller coaster of changing pretty much everything in my life from where I was 6 months ago. The birth for me was realizing I was going to change my life from working three jobs and feeling unfullfilled. Somewhere down the line, I lost my voice or the ability to use it. In the beginning of this journey, their were not many people that believed in me and thought I was not much more than used up and over. But, there was beauty found deep within my struggles and I rose again from the flames of anger and pain. The birth of a career arose and filled my life with purpose and hope again and surrounded myself with people I trust and adore. Each difficult struggle I have encountered the past few years and the loss of the fairytale life I really believed in took me into a world filled with small battles brewing and even more wars lost. I was raised a southern lady but evolved into a warrior fighting for myself and for those that could not. Suddenly, that is where I found myself, my strength and power. I dug my heels in and forged ahead with sword in hand and have never dropped it again. A little bloody from the battles and scars forming around the few innocent parts left within.
I was mentored by by Stephen Miller and Jim Savalli who gave me a place to write and a station to entertain. The battle has been won and I found a place where I belong and where I could be myself and entertain the public. I live my life in front of yall and hopefully bring a laugh and a smile to you or share areas of a life you never knew excitsted. Am I who I was a year ago, a month ago even a week ago? No and never will be again. It is the people that refuse to stand by silent watching from the stands that are ever changing and conquering new quests. It is those who stand there blaming others that will shrivel up never know their potential or possibilities.
I say step out today trying something new for just yourself. Cut your hair, go to a gym and take a class you would never would try, go on a date that is out of the ususal, take a chance that moves you in a different direction because not exploring all the paths that lay ahead of you will soon dry up and blow away. You will never get a chance to live the fullest life possible.
Who would have thought a few years ago losing my best friend and beloved running and not being able to save him would bring a new life to me that would give me a reason to live again. I never thought I would be on my own national radio show entertaining, writing blogs inspiring others, writing movies that are uplifting and bringing my life to others in hopes of changing ones person's life for the possitive.
I was always the girl that love to shop for a bargain, try any beauty tip, train my ass of for a triathlons and find the newest health tips. But, I was also the girl that stayed quiet in the corner doing what everyone told me and being what was expected of me. I had those interests but I didn't know who I was or what I could become. I was trying so hard to be what was expected of a southern bell that a chronic turmoil was always struggling within me to act the way that was expected or try and find what layed within.
The hardest thing in the world is to step away from the norm, your friends, your family or others expectations. To take that first step onto a unexplored path that only you see takes all the strength within your heart, soul and mind. Especially if those new things fail, there will always be those that happily remind you. But if you try, it will ignite a fire within you that will burn bright or fade into ashes. The fire will force you to forge on and become the you that has finally found the light. If ashes are left then you should return to who you were before because to become reborn will require the warrior who at times will be burned by the flames.
My step away from life was given to me by two men. One was a producer that hired me to write my first movie and the other Stephen Miller that sponsored my first show and turned into a big brother. My life would have never been truly complete if I had not been given these chances and stepped off the path and onto the few that had never been traveled.
I have always been someone's daughter, girlfriend, fiance, wife and mother. I don't think I ever saw that I was a individual. I saw myself only whole if I was someone else's someone. The long gap I took away from life after my divorce and Sterling's death gave me time to mourn the old me and to find myself. I found I am a little awkward for where I live, I love to entertain and make others laugh, I feel comfortable and knowledgeable enough to share fitness, health, fashion and beauty with others and don't hide the fact that I have been broken many many times. I use everything possible I have learned from my wins and my losses to make me look good, feel good and do good. I quit appologising to people for being who I am and now own my strenghts, powers, mistakes, failures and successes. And I hope you will follow me down the new paths that await us all. Join me on Thursday nights at 7pm eastern Village Connection Radio and Village Connection Live.